By Judy Alsop
I don’t remember just when Our Lady won my heart. She did it over time. When my husband and I first began exploring Orthodoxy, I was very offended by the honor and reverence given to her. But little by little my attitude changed and my spiritual eyes began to open. Gradually, as I beheld her in the hymns, icons, sermons, sacred scriptures, and prayers of the Church, affection for her took root and grew in my heart.
Mind you, I’m saying this as a former Baptist girl. In my little country Baptist church there was never a hint of honoring the Virgin, except for a few minutes during a Christmas pageant’s nativity scene. Of course, I remember all the little girls in the church vying to play the role of Mary – what little girl wouldn’t want to be the mother of Jesus? But, all the honor and reverence given to the Virgin Mother in Orthodoxy has been a new thing for me, and, in the beginning of my journey, a very real point of contention.
I’m very thankful for Our Lady’s patience, understanding and forgiveness. I have been a rather surly child at times, both toward her and toward her Son. As a convert to Orthodoxy, there were many things I did not understand. I argued and I questioned the Lord about many issues in the Church, especially about His mother. Can you imagine? Questioning our Lord about the Holy Theotokos? Why He listened so patiently, I’ll never fathom, but He did. And, in my heart, He would question me in return – asking me things that pierced my soul.
I remember one instance when I was arguing with the Lord, whining over the topic of honoring His mother, and the question gently formed in my mind, “Are you jealous?” I was! And, I knew it was the Lord who had questioned me. You see, as a former charismatic Protestant, I believed I had a very special and intimate relationship with Jesus. I believed I heard His voice clearly and didn’t really need anyone else’s counsel, unless I wanted it for confirmation of what I already knew to be true.
It was very difficult to think about sharing this “Jesus and me” personal relationship with someone else. Pray to the Virgin Mary? That was simply out of the question. Why would I need to pray to the Lord’s mother, when I could petition Him directly? Isn’t that idolatry? Don’t I have a face to face relationship with my Lord? Why should I have to share it with His mother? Thankfully, the Lord’s patience with me, and that of Our Lady, exceeded my struggle.
But my struggle continued for quite some time. When complaining to a dear friend about the “Mary issue” early in my Orthodox journey, he simply said, “Well, the Virgin Mary is ‘an acquired taste.’” Somehow those words gave me pause and allowed me to take the time I needed to get to know her and allow her entrance into my heart. It didn’t happen quickly, but slowly, step by step, one new insight at a time.
As I obediently and consistently venerated Our Lady’s icon hanging on our bedroom wall, my heart softened towards her. As I heard the hymns sang to her at Divine Liturgy and especially during Lenten services, I began to understand more of her importance in the story of redemption. As I read in Orthodox literature about her unique role in Christ’s incarnation, I stood amazed in her presence. Truly, this was no ordinary woman, but one chosen from the foundations of the earth. Our Heavenly Father looked down through the ages and saw this unique maiden – one who chose to live in purity, holiness, and humility. He personally singled her out, ordained and carefully prepared her for her extraordinary position as “the Mother of our Lord.”
Just as I don’t remember how or when the Mother of our Lord won my heart, neither do I remember when I first began to petition her with my personal prayers and concerns. What I do remember well is that these petitions were answered. Things that I prayed for actually happened. Changes in lives actually took place. New meaning and understanding of my life and of the lives of those for whom I sought her intercession flooded my soul. I am continually grateful for Our Lady’s faithful intercessions!
Our Lady Theotokos is well equipped to intercede for us regarding both ordinary and extraordinary issues in our lives. The many roles she carried out during her life time were recently brought to my attention: daughter, student of sacred scripture, fiancé, wife (to the Greeks, “betrothed”), mother of the Son of God, step mother, sister, aunt, cousin, friend, intercessor, widow, bereaved mother of a murdered, innocent Son, beloved “mother” of the Apostle John, and more. She understands our struggles and challenges in everyday life, and she truly is our heavenly intercessor, taking our requests boldly to her Son, just as she did on earth (John 2:3-5).
I love the words, “Our Lady.” They bring me peace and a quiet joy. This is my favorite title for the Virgin Mary. Maybe it’s because I associate the words with Fr. Josiah’s affectionate pronunciation of them at one of our first catechumen classes with him at St. Andrew in 2006. When Father would say, “Our Lady,” I felt his genuine love for her – something far beyond my understanding at the time. I’ve gradually grown into a similar feeling of affection for her. She belongs to us. She belongs to all the Church, and in her motherly affection and prayerfulness she cares and prays for each of us.
I saw her tender care firsthand when I witnessed my pastor at St. Barnabas, Fr. Wayne Wilson, place his forehead on the Hawaiian Myrrh-streaming Iveron icon of the Holy Theotokos in a Serbian church – he was instantly healed of extremely painful chronic headaches. At the time, I was not yet Orthodox and thought perhaps Fr. Wayne was showing us a new way to venerate the Theotokos! Rather, he was desperately asking for her intercession, and Our Lady responded with compassion and miraculous results.
Elder Joseph the Hesychast observes, “As soon as we cry out to her she rushes to help. You don’t even finish saying ‘All-holy Theotokos help me!’ and at once, like lightening, she shines through the nous (mind) and fills the heart with illumination. She draws the nous to prayer and the heart to love.”
It is not difficult to understand why our Lord could hardly wait to bring His mother to Himself after she fell asleep. He loves her deeply and wanted her by His side as soon as possible. During this season of the Dormition Fast, let us reach out to Our Lady in genuine reverence, honor and affection, bringing our requests to her, so that in motherly boldness she may approach the Lord on our behalf.